that way it wont hurt so much, when we say goodbye.im torturing myself.and i agree to what they say about, no matter how clear headed u are.no matter how strong you are or think you are.there is a soft spot. something'll pull u down eventually.and that something, should actually have stopped doing what it was doing to me.but yeah. its like a curse. anyway, im moving on i guess. life's just like that.got the shittiest number of projects this semester. a whopping 7.my timbre-pals are kind of gone.the dears are going back to aussieland.and i start to wonder and wallow again, what am i to do without all of them.i guess i'm back to that. and somehow, i'll go through it all well, like i always do.and yeah, maybe that's just how life is. or maybe, just, mine.Labels: emotivities, rambles
♥ 12:40 AM
and maybe that was yet another phase in my life.it happens, no?just that im positive this time it was different from the last.the last felt super juvenile. i didnt know what i was thinking.the deal is im not saying that i know what i am doing this time.in fact, i dont.im still clueless. and regret many parts of it. cos i seriously felt stupid and i cant totally blame it on alcohol.but yeah.at least i know i got ignored.at least the signs were evident.and now, damn i still cant believe i forwarded that.anyway, long story short, i can now see it in a different light. and this came 1month late.and it turns out that thing actually feels better now. for now.Labels: emotivities, rambles
♥ 11:58 AM
i do know for a fact that im not the most inspiring/inspired person around. but the inadequacies its killing me.vday and cny has its merry and unmerry times.the problem is that, the emotions and all are a tad too drastic for me to take.anyways, with all thats happened recently, i just cant help but fall into bolts of thought.the good things and the bad just cluttered altogether.it's just, many times and things for that matter, have been thought well and long. but its obvious that the ego in question, is thrown away.and i just have the feeling im gonna die this semester. maybe timbre's become the new solace.maybe my insecurities are acting a tad too often that the guitar is no longer enough to fill up the gaps.maybe my swings from positivity to negativity are too drastic it daunts me.the issue here is, things are bad. its evident. but i dont feel as bad. its not that i no longer care, or that it no longer bothers me.i mean, come on man, who am i kidding?maybe its just that long process that is slowly eating me away.maybe ive matured and understood, but refuse to accept.maybe. its just something id rather not forget. all of it. the happy times and the pain.and maybe i am actually able to live with it. all of it.but maybe. it only applies to me. and im the only one ranting abt all this.that must mean im pathetic. but seriously, who gives.time flies. and days are down 4.if nothing's the way its gonna go, then seriously, fml.and i learned one thing. Fate doesnt decide all the time, we get to choose too.and his choice was the dead end.Labels: emotivities, rambles
♥ 12:18 PM
