creamus

2010-03-17T10:18:00.002+08:00

mentioning is pointless. i should keep some thoughts to myself.

besides, the way its acting now. is just plain weird.

2010-03-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

in his book, your chapter's closed.

i know.

2010-03-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

~~The things that midterm stresses do to you. Wait, or er, i meant me, at least in this story.~~

~~Yeah okay, so i shall do this again.~~

The things that midterm stresses did to ME.

BUT Its not even the midterms!! Its just 7 freaking projects all cramped together in the span of a month (almost).

Anyways, as usual, I was writing the essay till the words started looking like binary codes. Then i figured i needed a time-out and so, we went for dinner. I dont know how, it just felt like the 'honey warm milk' was calling out to me, in the total haunting way, and that was what i got. I'm guessing the waiter must've thought I was nuts, especially since its 3.5 bucks for a concoction of milk added with honey and warmed. So yeah, I ate and drank. and gradually, I felt really sleepy.

Then it occurred to me that in dramas, the older people would always tell others in cantonese, 'get some warm milk, it'll help you sleep better'.

So as the older cantonese people predicted, I did feel really really sleepy but still sane. Just like how I always felt after 1am; stonish, but still barely sane. The next thing i knew was i got into body shop and got myself soap and perfume that amounted to 70 bucks. I then got on the train and got myself a seat and sat there looking at my itouch sliding off my lap and fall on the floor. I literally just sat there. The kind lady next to me helped me pick it up and i recall thanking her for the gesture. Everything else after that is fuzzy. I dont even remember how I took the bus back and walked home and bathed and continued the rest of the project.

So tell me now, is it the hypnotizing effects of the warm milk, or am I just some hybrid walking zombie?

I bet the latter sounds more convincing.

Wait, what did I write in this damned post?!!!!

2010-02-22T00:40:00.003+08:00

that way it wont hurt so much, when we say goodbye.

im torturing myself.
and i agree to what they say about, no matter how clear headed u are.
no matter how strong you are or think you are.
there is a soft spot. something'll pull u down eventually.
and that something, should actually have stopped doing what it was doing to me.
but yeah. its like a curse. anyway, im moving on i guess. life's just like that.
got the shittiest number of projects this semester. a whopping 7.
my timbre-pals are kind of gone.
the dears are going back to aussieland.
and i start to wonder and wallow again, what am i to do without all of them.
i guess i'm back to that. and somehow, i'll go through it all well, like i always do.
and yeah, maybe that's just how life is. or maybe, just, mine.

2010-02-20T11:58:00.003+08:00

and maybe that was yet another phase in my life.

it happens, no?
just that im positive this time it was different from the last.
the last felt super juvenile. i didnt know what i was thinking.
the deal is im not saying that i know what i am doing this time.
in fact, i dont.
im still clueless. and regret many parts of it. cos i seriously felt stupid and i cant totally blame it on alcohol.
but yeah.
at least i know i got ignored.
at least the signs were evident.
and now, damn i still cant believe i forwarded that.
anyway, long story short, i can now see it in a different light. and this came 1month late.
and it turns out that thing actually feels better now. for now.

2010-02-17T02:24:00.001+08:00

tell me about the irony.

terrified - katharine mcphee

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You’re the thing that’s right
Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watchin’ the shadows burnin’ in the dark

And I-I-I’m in love (I’m in love)
And I-I-I’m terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

This could be good
It’s already better than that
And nothing’s worse than knowing you’re holding back

I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watchin’ the shadows burnin’ in the dark

And I-I-I’m in love (I’m in love)
And I-I-I’m terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

I only said it
‘Cause I mean it
I only mean it
‘Cause it’s true

So don’t you dare
What i’ve been dreaming
‘Cause it keeps me up
It holds me close
Whenever I’m without you

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watchin’ the shadows burnin’ in the dark

And I-I-I’m in love (I’m in love)
And I-I-I’m terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

2010-02-16T12:18:00.004+08:00

i do know for a fact that im not the most inspiring/inspired person around. but the inadequacies its killing me.

vday and cny has its merry and unmerry times.
the problem is that, the emotions and all are a tad too drastic for me to take.
anyways, with all thats happened recently, i just cant help but fall into bolts of thought.
the good things and the bad just cluttered altogether.
it's just, many times and things for that matter, have been thought well and long. but its obvious that the ego in question, is thrown away.

and i just have the feeling im gonna die this semester.

maybe timbre's become the new solace.
maybe my insecurities are acting a tad too often that the guitar is no longer enough to fill up the gaps.
maybe my swings from positivity to negativity are too drastic it daunts me.
the issue here is, things are bad. its evident. but i dont feel as bad.
its not that i no longer care, or that it no longer bothers me.
i mean, come on man, who am i kidding?
maybe its just that long process that is slowly eating me away.
maybe ive matured and understood, but refuse to accept.
maybe. its just something id rather not forget. all of it. the happy times and the pain.
and maybe i am actually able to live with it. all of it.

but maybe. it only applies to me. and im the only one ranting abt all this.
that must mean im pathetic. but seriously, who gives.

time flies. and days are down 4.
if nothing's the way its gonna go, then seriously, fml.

and i learned one thing.
Fate doesnt decide all the time, we get to choose too.
and his choice was the dead end.

2010-02-01T21:36:00.003+08:00

tomodachi.

fri was a great day.
met the pri sch peeps for dinner and it was great getting filled in about stuff.
the anticipation and aspirations are admirable. because, i for that matter, still do not know what i am to do when im done with my degree.
and so after that i headed down to cathay to meet rakinah and zach.
decided to go to the loo before stoning at starbucks for my 'how i met your mother' marathon.
AND i met zollin outside the loo.
what are the odds of that.
anyways. he was really nice. and we talked till rak's movie ended and zach came.
we got booze at 7-11 at marina square and stoned at esplanade.
music, odd couples, trash truck, camwhoring, bursting bubblewraps, tap tap revenges till 6am.

sunday was the marina barrage day.
kite-flying. :D
there was some filming thing going on.
anways, we big2-ed, ate, jump shot and all.
and dinner was great till aston's started playing techno cny songs which are rips of the popular chinese tunes. crap like seriously.

anyways, today caught legion with mstan and ck.
the guy who acted as michael is super super super cute.
awwwwwwww.

2010-02-01T21:27:00.007+08:00

am i that detestable? or do i just seem to be stooping so low and throwing away my pride to do things?
im sorry but i dont.
im not such a person and if i do give u that impression, im sorry about that and you can seriously just snap out of it.
but yeah. im sorry that i didnt realise im tht detestable.
and i sympathise that it is hard to get me off your back.
i didnt mean to and maybe next time, you could just tell me straight in the face that im just the only person that you detest so i should just buzz off.

oh great. like what did i do?

2010-01-29T10:40:00.002+08:00

i always feel sucky when i think back on events that happened and start to regret what i did.
things like, why did i say that in the fit of anger or the rushes of adrenaline. bah. yesterday was just plain weird.

i sure do hope i didnt do anything or say anything weird or offensive.

on the brightside, SIM realised the screwup and dateline's been extended till 11feb. that's like 9 days more.

2010-01-27T23:25:00.002+08:00

my paper's due next tues. and i dont even know what is going on.
and i dont have time.
and im lethargic and cannot concentrate.
please tell me what u are, onthology and epimestology.
i am so screwed. and im tired.
bah.

2010-01-27T09:21:00.005+08:00

the should haves.

I was telling mom about how SIM screwed up our schedules and due dates. And apparently, it happens to the other universities too.

Today was our first time seeing the local lecturer, and we get to hand our first assignment next week. Its not supposed to work this way. There's also been reschedules for some of the lectures. The excuse of 'things would take long to process' has been used just a tad too many times. ARE WE, LIKE, SO EASILY FOOLED. DAMN.

(trust me, i do not complain unless it seriously sucks)
mom: Arent you supposed to pay your fees.
me: Oh they screwed that up too. no news till now. my friend's mom is already asking if there's a problem.
mom: I told you to go to aussie to study u didnt want to.

sigh. i know. i regret it now.

things are starting to get cranky at home.
mom's starting to get me to send emails.
i should be glad she's been this supportive.
but damn there was a reason why i didnt want to leave.

2010-01-27T09:15:00.003+08:00

my itunes' playing on shuffle. and it came upon a song i havent heard in ages.
oh wells, maybe not that long. but zach sent me this quite some time ago. and its nice, and old. btw, its from the drama chemistry. talk about old school!

Should I Stay - Dreamzfm
Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin’ proof of what love
is about

CHORUS
It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Even though I’m down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You’re still in my thoughts

CHORUS

Oooohh…should I stay?Should I go?

CHORUS

This time its done
It’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it’s sad just the same
I guess the truth
Doesn’t matter somehow
But you were livin’ proof of what love is about…

2010-01-27T09:09:00.002+08:00

HOPE FOR HAITI NOW

nope this aint spam. its just, i was at soph's place yesterday and it was absolutely depressing to see all of what is happening on CNN.
true, the pictures were devastating enough. the death toll isnt any better.
but the important point is that, there are so many children who are left orphaned due to the ordeal.
and they literally lost EVERYTHING they had.
and even the government is nowhere to be found.
so seriously, in the midst of alicia keys and justin timberlake and taylor swift and all the others singing for hope for haiti now, doing something for them is just the right thing to do.

https://www.hopeforhaitinow.org/Default.asp

2010-01-24T00:29:00.003+08:00

i am super tired. physically and mentally.

timbre @ substation with mstan yesterday. it was super crazed.
there was a super long queue.
thanks alvin for getting us in.
and 53A was super.
was nice seeing michelle.
boozing was crazed too.
anyways, we were like too tired to leave the place. but anyways, we walked to get NR.
my bad. i didnt think it would take that long to come.
anyways, all i remembered that happened was us singing while crossing the road, which im sure had the taxi uncles thinking we're nuts.
and also the part were we had a moment of solemness at the war memorial.

okay i really do not know how that happened.

anyways, got home at a good 4am.
totally drained and slept till late.

today was fun though. met wanlin for lunch.
went to esplanade to guitar.
and we saw inch chua and elizabeth tan setting up.
so yeah, we went to the roof to play the guitar for a bit and then caught the performance at the concourse.
and its cool. cos the last time i saw her at baybeats, i knew who she was but not any of her songs.
this time, ive heard her songs, and it felt like i was hearing it in a different light.
and the combinations were cool. the electric guitars, ukuleles, cellos, acoustic guitars and nintendo ds.
anyways, got our bread stuff and mrs fields and headed to marina barrage.
continued the guitar playing and photo taking.
seriously, the theory parts for the piano do help a lot in getting to know the guitar.
or maybe its cos she plays the double bass too.
anyways, stayed till late, super drained. and now im trying my very best to blog without writing the weird stuff.
loads of pics to load from cam.

and i think im gonna hit the sack real soon. my eyes are definitely bloodshot.

2010-01-22T00:21:00.002+08:00

i found a new hobby.

digging for older emorock songs. lol.
anyways, was listening to power98 yesterday.
and heard a song so familiar.
and now i get why i just couldnt make out what song it was even though i was damn sure i heard it before. hmm for one, its old. and the acoustic version's a lil different i guess.
anyways, this is my faved yellowcard song.

only one - yellowcard.
Broken, this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you, so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go, so dishonestly
Leave a note, for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only oneI'd let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

2010-01-20T09:55:00.004+08:00

im in a uber bloggish mode. cheerios. :D

i heard this at one of the gigs by 53A. and i read it once. but since im still nose-stucked and all, i figured i shall have a ball of time by doing this all over again. so great, there are the good and bad ones. all hail me steph.

1. Steph
Irish slang word, used mainly in Longford, to describe a girl as beautiful as she is elusive, that will have her victim distracted to the point of writing poetry for her. Can also be used as a verb.
Guy #1: Hey man, you gotta forget that Steph, she's got you well messed up.
Guy #2: I wish I could but I'm totally Stephed.

(i dont get peeps writing poetry for me, im sorry but mister irish from longford apparently, i do hope i’ll get that kinda flattery at some point in time to prove this accurate. thank you very much. btw, on the sidenote, could i use this on a guy too or its just a one sex thing? if so i could go: i wish i could but i’m totally stephed. okay it doesnt sound right.)

2. Steph
A girl who lacks the confidence in herself to believe when people tell her that she is beautiful that they really mean it.
"You are beautiful" "No Im not!" "You are such a Steph!"

(this seems to agree with mister irish from longford, without the poetry parts)

3. steph
most gorgeous person you will ever meet. often blonde, blue eyed and unbelieveably stunning. males often drop to her feet and is quite understandably easy to fall for. great sence of humour and a unique loveable personality. a good friend and has a heart of gold. a total heartbreaker but 100% marriage material. a true soulmate.
i love you steph.

(awwww. thing is im not blonde, blue eyed nor unbelieveably stunning.)

4. Steph
A beautiful, short (awesomely), brown-haired girl with a big heart and even smaller pants. She is one of the most athletic girls you will ever meet, and she can kick your butt if given the chance.
Augh! Don't Steph me!

(hah i AM short. they've got that right. athletic? idk man, i almost died from running and getting chased by unfriendly canines)

5. Steph
sexy, awesome at giving head. blonde, blue eyes. funny. always funny as hell. hugggge ass usually! loves drinking, or smokin weed. horny 100% of the time. never calms down. slutzilla....major slore. loveable. big lips, huge tits. not that smart. never cheats on their man/girl. truthful.
sexxxxxxy steph

(okay i get it. i should be blonde and all and super sex-driven, like all the time. damn how many times did they repeat it in this paragraph. its either the name thats making this dude high or he had an apparent great time with another girl called steph who fits all the descriptions. if there is, im feeling totally grossed out for her and totally not sympathetic for the guy. he needs a life man.)

6. steph
To be so drunk you cannot walk or talk, just flap around like a fish having an epi fit.
Wow, sarah was sooo drunk! Yeah, she was pulling a proper steph!

(never tried any. wait a minute, FLAP LIKE A FISH? u kidding me? thats totally what the fish.)

7. steph
the other woman or third party in an affair
Synonym: cunt
Antonym: friend
"Yeah, Steph is a bitter bitch with some heavy karma coming her way."

(oh and now im a bitch. rahhh. omg i see that karma word again. does it bode ill, yet again?)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steph

2010-01-19T10:11:00.003+08:00

i woke up thrice just cos i was literally choked from the runny nose. feels retarded.

yesterday was the weirdest day ever.
i mean yeah, kids are cute. especially their age now since its a kindergaten.
and somehow they are like innocent looking and all.
and i was playing with them and it feels sweet when some of the kids just like to sit next to me or on my lap.
BUT BUT BUT.
it is scary when they start crying, pooping, and throwing tantrums.
and its just hard to get them to do certain things, when they obviously dont want to.
and seriously, i admire my aunt. she just knows how to put herself in a position with much poise and yet not losing the intimidating vibe she should have. she just has a way with kids.
and i realised, i would totally die with kids.

btw, its nice knowing that theyre people who share the same love for the kind of music that isnt necessarily the top40 hits. cos some of these tracks are just the ones that touches the heart the most.

and yeah, so the title says, im stuck at home now. nursing a sudden bout of cold.
my throat is super sore and my nose is alternating between being blocked and runny.
sigh.

2010-01-17T23:42:00.003+08:00

when it all goes back, to how it was before. :D

this shall be an inspirational one. i dont know how many people do actually read my blog. but wells, i figured i should just rant and let it all out.

since this time, it should be good.

if there was one important lesson i learnt in the past year, its to know how to let go of things.
well, its been kind of evident that im a very unlucky person when i have the people around me leaving, one by one.
so its either i passed them the karma, or its just how my life works, with all the constant goodbyes.
but yeah, i figured i just have to find my way around it.
so while the others are telling me how coincidental it is that when things take a turn for the worse with the migrations and all, instead of moping (which i totally have the right to do), now i just gotta live with it.

damn. i dont know how long is this gung-ho spirit of mine gonna last. and speaking of which, i did the craziest thing ever. but i got my answer. and im proud of myself. at least this time i let it out. and i can sleep a happy person. well, at least it wasnt nothing.

so with feb coming close, and the next round of airport trips happening real soon. it might just be the sign that i should start burying myself in books after they leave. and perhaps look forward to all of them coming back again. just like how i felt in church today, the sudden thought that when i leave 1.5years later, im gonna leave knowing i played hard during this period of time.

so yeah, i might totally be babbling now and have got no idea what i just typed. but im kinda glad things ended this way. its inevitable, so we'll just make the best out of it.

sidenote: we laughed real bad and a tad too loudly in church when the intercessors were praying for a girl in her early twenties who was finding true love. TALK ABOUT GMAX!

2010-01-14T10:22:00.004+08:00

happy?

its always one of these times to assess myself.
which could pretty much be a deciding factor to whether or not i AM exactly in the third merde.
somehow i guess.

these days ive been thinking, in my super emo state (and definitely no thanks to all that crazy 830am classes).
are some things that important?
people place their lives on the beliefs of many things.
that could just seem totally mediocre to the many others out there.
yet, it just means so much, that the person actually could just say that this is the end of it all when they do realise what they've missed.

the way we think just puzzles me . maybe its just so intricate and deep that it takes more of the feeling of it all than the human brain to work it all out.

and imo, its just always good to be ignorant about stuff. and hayley williams wrote it well.

school's been okay i guess. my aussie and local lecturers just seemed to have swopped places. anyways, leadership's gonna be tough. the only consolation might just be that the lecturer's an uber cool guy. talk about aman{u}enses. LOL. the early classes has been a chore. i just cant imagine having to wake that early to go to work and all. but wells, its not gonna happen to me till 3 years later. so.. muahahaha.

went to timbre @ theartshouse yesterday with mstan and ald.
and she wanted to catch goodfellas too.
so it was a boozing session. like real bad.
i just cant take beer. idk why.
anyways, i had a pint of erdinger and a pint of heineken. she had a cosmo and a pint of erdinger. and before we knew it, we were talking all about farts.
thankfully aldwin drove. and mstan and i literally slept in the car.

anyways, im kinda glad that its constantly spinning paramore's 'turn it off' on my ipod. cos damn, its seriously apt.

in all my spite, i'll turn it off.

2010-01-11T02:58:00.002+08:00

and maybe i'm clearer with things concerning myself. i can wake a happy person. :D

2010-01-07T02:06:00.001+08:00

and so... i know he doesnt. why do i feel shitty about it.

2010-01-05T14:05:00.003+08:00

the year in a snapshot:

was looking through my old posts. bad english included.
2009's been bumpy:

marina barrage trips.
singapore flyer trips.
museum trips.
night safari trips.
sentosa trips. all a tad too often.
bibi passed away.
tons of movies.
clubbing the nights away idk why.
timbre trips began! in march! :D
macdonald's birthday party after a really long time.
3d movies :D
got driving license :D
got back old friends. be it cathay, pri school, secondary school or mike.
got to know new friends, eg. sim-fcbc lighthouse, david, daniel.
got hooked onto local bands: 53A, goodfellas, shirlyn and the unxpected.
went nuts about transformers2.
got hooked onto paramore, the fray, faber drive, john mayer. which meant new spins :D
heard battlefield nonstop everyday for more than a week. NOT on my ipod. but on radio, mtvasia, etc.
shisha sessions!
extracted wisdoms. 3 in total.
got twitter, tumblr, livejournal.
actually watched and loved horror. lol.
highest phone bill ever in phone owning history.
got hooked onto 'how i met your mother' :D
baybeats2009! :D
phone died, repair took super long. samsung service center sucks.
mugged the most in my life.
missed f1.
missed epl. damn.
lan sessions. :D
foosball. :D
wii sessions. :D
changed blog name. after 5 years.
GUITAR! :D

im sure i missed stuff. oh wells, shall update when i do remember them.

2010-01-04T00:16:00.003+08:00

after today, with the conversations, i kind of realise i might just totally suck as a person. as in a human being who might actually be intellectual and have a considerable statistic of EQ.

fuck. is an understatement. argh.

anyway, midst all that fuckshit that's happening.
catching up was fun.
yesterday was the primary school class gathering.
and its funny to hear the stories.
remembering the people i havent met since 12.
its just fun and those were the times that things didnt matter. anger and misconceptions were at its least. and simple was the apt way to put it.
and its great that everyone's gone to do great things in their lives.
the happily ever afters, the ambitions.
but i start to ponder on my ambitions. and the direction things would lead me.

so when i was listening to fahms' stories about the things that happened recently.
it occurred to me that, planning is just part and parcel of it all.
cos seriously, many things are fixed, in a way of another.
living through it and getting over them are the main things that would matter.

and so, even though i totally have got no idea which country i'll end up in in 2 years time, and whether things are actually going the way they seem. i shall just live by the second. and maybe, expectations are now just a point taken. this is totally not ambitious but yeah, perhaps its just the best way out when everythings not said, nor sure of.

though i gotta admit. its kinda killing me inside. cos time is ticking.

2009-12-30T01:21:00.004+08:00

to take everything with a pinch of salt.
and so they say.

anyway. fahms philosophy about when you get closer to someone the brain sends some chemicals to make you want to see that person more.
im pretty sure he meant his relationship with ll tho.
ms tan doesnt agree.

anyway, watched sherlock holmes which turned out to be good. seriously robert downey jr was super cute. and jude law too and the bulldog.
and we took random pics with alvin and the chipmunks.
headed to timbre and caught the last 2 sets.
lots of crap with mstan.
the good old days are always the best.

cant believe i got stoned with one pint of erdinger. sucks.

with the frenzy of the third merde. i shall put my life back together again.
the guitar's became the trusty companion. and i love it genuinely.

2009-12-27T13:37:00.003+08:00

post 701.

i read that the creativity cells just work better from 12-3pm.
so i figured this should be the best time to blog.

meeting people, clubbing, trails, shops, movies, FOOD, and timbre. just rocks.
going home late is now definitely the norm.

but yeah, yesterday was 2/1's class gathering and seriously, it was fun.
and i realised i do have a short term memory.
seriously, how could i forget shuwen!
and i still cant remember who she is. this is bad.
but the stories of the good old days are just funny and everything nice.
its just the juvenile things that we did that made it all so much more fun.
and school just didnt seem like a chore.
unlike, unfortunately, now, where studies meant where u'll end up in the 1.5 years to come.
wait, no, make that 2.5 years to go. just that i dont know where i'll be going yet after 1.5 years.
but yeah, everyone overseas is just livin the vida loca. so i should totally just look forward to it and accept it as it is right?

i guess.

anyway, it was dc's belated birthday.
and hangovers were evident.
i should thank my lucky stars that after approx more than 1pint of erdinger i still could walk straight.
and no more bruises this time. birthday boy says to drink and drink i shall.
but yeah it was nice seeing limin change so much! she reminds me of someone whom david refuses to admit is pretty. wait i shudnt mention it here.
and nat!
and junlong! and junlong's gf! haha.
it was just funny lar. i just hope i didnt do anything weird yesterday. like seriously. i should totally link my tweet cos after yesterday night, it made total sense.
'i realised i should just hush up when there's alcohol and not enough sleep'.
KUDOS>

anyway, we caught alvin and the chipmunks 2 after a thorough thrashing session of pool.
cos the foosball machine was spoilt. SPOILT! please just repair it soon man.
and my knees were killing me during the whole movie.
and then we headed to mac's after the movie since it was 3.
stories are good to listen to. which reinforces my theory that i prefer to listen. which just might not be the best thing i should do sometimes.

anyways, yesterday was fun. and i agree, we should totally do this more often.

and a quick note: the guy who said that creative cells work better from 12-3pm was lying. it was a total fraud. cos truth is, i'm still writing weird now. damn.

2009-12-26T16:34:00.002+08:00

john mayer.

yeap this post is dedicated to mister john mayer.
cos seriously, he rocks.
if there was a shakespeare who wrote love songs instead of people dying from poison, he has to be john mayer. and so it goes. his lyrics just. makes me go. awwww.

comfortable - john mayer.

I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives
She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken inshe's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.

2009-12-26T13:27:00.002+08:00

and even more crap to take now? argh.
screw myself man.

2009-12-26T03:11:00.001+08:00

joyeux noel.

christmas this year just doesnt feel as jolly. why.

2009-12-16T01:35:00.002+08:00

the times we had together.

went back to school for re-enrolment.
suddenly, time seemed to fly by without warning.
the last time i went back to school was technically the day of the last paper. which was 5nov.
so its been more than a month.
its back to the same old fahms picking us up and we going to school.
filling up the forms and getting in line.
the friendly aussie associates helps us get things done.
and we're good to go. till school starts.
its good to see everyone again.
for some reason, it could be that the holidays just felt taxing or ive aged in my thinking.
sometimes, thinking too much with my heart. lol.
but anyways, the whole re-enrolment thing felt more like a reunion.
and everyone;s flying off again. sigh.
anyways. stoning in school is just another pasttime.
we actually played big2 at the benches.
and saboteur after.
headed down to the shisha place at haji.
been some time since i went there. it was still full of the turkish music.
and we practically couched for more than 3 hours.
trying desperately to concentrate on the game of saboteur.

and oh damn. i should seriously post the pic of my 'or che' of the century.
LOL.
and no it hardly looks like a middle finger. i guess. lol.

tmmr's the night out with the dears. :D

2009-12-13T23:42:00.002+08:00

i fell real bad yesterday.

it still hurts.
esp when i walk.
dad never says things are serious unless they really are.
and he had tht look on his face when he saw the state and size of my bruise.
which means im pretty much screwed.
he's gonna do the real painful rubbing thing.
and im going to wail the whole night like a sick puppy.
sigh.

slurged today and loads of stuff that are essentials. so not feeling too bad about it.

was super late for church. sigh.

tmr's gonna be interesting. :D

2009-12-13T00:58:00.006+08:00

Brooke Fraser Ligertwood rocks.

the week's been filled with lots of unsuccessful exercising attempts.
l4d 2 sessions.
movies.
and david's guitar.

been buying stuff. but theyre essentials. so wells.

need to brush up on my guitar skills. im still noobshit tho.

ive been hooked onto the song by brooke ligertwood. have been hearing 'his glory appears' in church for the past few months tho.
okay make that quite some time ago alr.
but it always feels damn nice.
and there's just this thing about her and that melody.
the piano solo is wicked. er as in cool wicked not evil wicked.
so seriously. yeah im still listening to it for the umpteenth time. thanks james.
hoping to hear it in church tmr man.

next week's gonna be hectic.
and i still have stuff to do sigh.

if there is one thing i shouldve learned in the past year, with all that crap,
i should never think.
i should never ponder.
i should never expect.
nor should i ever anticipate.
looking forward to is never an option.
its just a coincidence.

so wells, i gotta brace myself. its no use and pointless getting myself into shit all over again. for the 3rd time at least. bleahs.

xmas is coming. where is the love :D

2009-12-11T01:11:00.003+08:00

whoever said happy times dont last, has the same bout of negativity as i do.

so kudos to that.
no thanks to the flu.
only consolation is the exam results were better than expected. thank god. thank rmit. lol.

oh and i found the perfect love song. i guess. lol. its old tho. but its spinning on my itunes now.

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to donothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know whyI can't keep my eyes off of you

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to donothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive

you and me - lifehouse

2009-12-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

i just knew i totally screwed it all up.

okay crap.

2009-12-05T12:45:00.002+08:00

i learned that i should be more appropriate.
cos im not appropriate enough.

its vague i know. it could mean im inadequate in many areas.
that i do not deny. because i do know i make my mistakes.
and sometimes a tad too often.
somethings i didnt mean it that way, but somehow it does get misinterpreted.
the part that i do not realise, however, is the consequences that such problems would make me face.
when i do say something to try to make things clear, who knows?, it might just backfire.
and evidence shows that that's usually the case.
i dont know if it gets offensive or i get offended in the midst of it all. but it got me thinking and the whole frenzy just got me more critical about myself.
is it the pressure i put upon all that?
is it the pressure to be careful in everything i do, because seriously, the society now as it seems, isnt the perfect place to be open and voice out your thoughts. because somehow or another, lets face it, this isnt america.
but when things do get ugly because of the things ive done or things on the whole, it just isnt worth it.
so it might just be the wise decision to get back to the shell and back off yet there is the need to find a balance between that and my own principles.
this could be just the thing i would be searching my whole life.
and please pardon my straightforwardness.
and one thing i realised with the lack of sleep for the past 2 weeks? i should keep my mouth shut after midnight.

caught happy flight with zj,min,val.
movie marathon-ed yesterday. new moon and couple's retreat.
jazz was playing at the esplanade.

2009-12-01T23:03:00.004+08:00

when someone says something shitty, u budge.

its inevitable when things do take a turn for the worse.
its all part and parcel of life.
it took me long enough to realise all that. and sceptism and suspicion are just the minor parts of it.
its just life. suck it up. there's no other way.

have been sleeping late these days. i could practically snooze anywhere.
i wake early but my reflexes and all are a tad too slow. so do notice i msg really slowly and thus, reply very slowly. shall sleep earlier today. reflexes should get better.
it sucks when i get stoned with beer.

i spent a lot a lot a lot of money the past few days.
and damn. i see the bank balance dropping like nobody's business. lol.

sometimes i realise sermons are inspiring. i might finally have stuff to work on.

2009-11-27T11:53:00.005+08:00

As much as i hate to disappoint, i always seem to.

my planning skills pretty much suck to a certain extent. im just not made to do certain things. project management was nothing but a hoax in my poly days. damn. but oh wells, it isnt just about planning and all. somehow, sometimes, there are just certain things it seems i put upon myself.

ive been 'drinking my liver away'. yeah. fri was the birthday thing and we opened tequila. sat was shisha so my body's pretty much in a shitty state already. the mediocre cycling session on monday didnt help much especially when i didnt get any aches which meant i didnt strain myself much, which also meant the rain caught us more occupied with saboteur than exercising. pigged out at night at ikea and got the stuffies to paint. :D
went back to tp with soph on tues and caught a christmas carol. during the movie i was thinking if i brought kim to watch that she's definitly gonna get the nightmares. it wasnt all happy and sweet. the starting parts were actually kinda scary. anyway, i managed to see a side of my dear msng i never knew since sec school. and gosh. it was cool!
guitar strings have become the new bane of my life. especially when im a noob at such stuff. anyway i did try to string my guitars but i swear i was dying. it turned out, however, the way i was stringing it was totally wrong, no wonder the hard times. but anyway, i couldnt take it anymore and strottled down to tm and the kind soul at yamaha helped me string it. he was uber nice, like seriously. then it was saboteur at val's again and then clubbed for rakinah's birthday. :D we drank a lot. again. omg.
yesterday i had the worst puking experience ever. i do not know why but when i woke up i had this crappy stomach thing and i rushed to the kitchen sink and started puking tranparent substances which i highly suspect is gastric juice. and i felt wasted the whole morning. thing is i dont remember drinking that much to make me feel that way, i've had more and woke the next morning feeling perfectly fine. anyways, i practically stoned at home the whole day, especially with the lack of sleep. timbre was at night and it was fun, other than the beer parts. i realised i like to sit and observe whats going on around me. i mean, okay fine it isnt inspiring or anything; i mean hardly! how can drunk people be inspiring, but still, its like funny to see how people react and act to stuff. music was great. 53a rocks. and its been some time since i saw david and we didnt talk much the last time we met either, sad m couldnt come. And did i mention, there was another set of drama at the toilets. drunk people puking on friends. drunk people standing at the sides stoning frm their hangovers or drunkardness or whatever its called. people just realising they stepped on glass that was in their shoes which meant bleeding and lots of bleeding. people panicking when the toilet lights went off since it was motion sensors. and i missing 'ignorance' cos i was caught in the crazy queue at the toilet. and everyone i met was interesting. and i was a little not myself. i can tell.

oh and i was looking through fb and realised there were a couple of people i know in sec sch tht were there. okay maybe i was too stoned to notice. bah.

sat's amos' birthday. another drinking session?. i shall bid my liver adieu. LOL.

2009-11-23T00:37:00.003+08:00

i got me paramore deluxe box set!!!! :D

im a spendthrift i know. LOL.
but who gives. cos i managed to find it in sg.
and its bought using dad's hangbao money :P
but yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-nesss!
and i love it nuts. the lyrics all kinda make even more sense :D

14430 is the no. on the cert. of authenticity of my copy. :D
which is out of the 15000 copies worldwide.
which i paid 80bucks for. unlike on ebay thats gonna cost me. but yayyy.

okay. back to stoning. am bushed.

2009-11-22T11:25:00.002+08:00

stitches finally off yesterday.
and my dear soong min is back! ♥
i miss mstan too.

tues was saboteur. and thn watched paranormal activity.
wasnt crazy scary. but it creeps.
wed was supposed to fly kite. but fahms was busy with the tmms.
so we just went to dimsum.
and fri was the bday thing. bah.
so glad i dont have to break the antibiotics into pieces cos i just couldnt swallow that pill, which is kinda big.
but yeah it was super embarassing!
i heard my name across timbre mobile for like at least 8 times.
no im not exaggerating.
and we drank at clarke quay after. and we were getting drunk. opened a bottle.
anyway, got hm at 4plus.
slept.
managed to wake for removing stitches.
met peinee.
went shop and then went to shisha.
stoned at shisha place for about 3 hrs.
it was super bright and the cushions were super comfy.
i kept looking at the restaurant area through the glass wall from where we were sitting.
and then i went to the airport. cos my dear msng is back!!:D
thn headed to blk85 for supper. :D

2009-11-16T22:11:00.003+08:00

my wisdom. :(

im hurting bah.
the extraction went scary.
worse ever. even after the 6 teeth he's plucked from my mouth.
4 for braces. 2 top wisdoms.
nothing beats the bottom one.
he injected many times are various places around the tooth.
thn the used the thing he always use to push the tooth to loosen it.
difference is this time it hurt. idk why it does with all the anaethesia in my mouth. but it does.
and with all the numbness it made it harder for me to open my mouth.
and he kept going open ur mouth bigger.
and damn my tooth was apparently huge so he used more stitches thn he usually would.
and yeah.
it bleed.
had painkillers.
took antibiotics.
it doesnt help that the pills are big and i have problems swallowing them.

and now the part doesnt hurt that bad. but i have problems opening my mouth and swallowing my own saliva. the tongue just hurts.

great.
i havent spoken since i left the dental clinic.

slept the day away.
i realised i can actually stone the whole day. doing nothing.
and that its best to ignore snide remarks lest things doesnt get sour. damn.

2009-11-16T00:10:00.002+08:00

today's the day i lose another tooth.

and im starting to feel scared.
felt a lot colder when i was in the shower when i suddenly thought of what sa loh would be doing.
yah i kinda freak i guess.
there should be the injections
thn wait for the numbness to set.
thn he'll take the thing to push it.
i feel it squeak and move in the gum.
he pulls it and shows me, all bloody and everything.
so far, its the same for the rest of the teeth.
here comes the climax.
how the hell is he gonna do the stitches idk.
damn. :X

updates:
wed was cel's bday celebrations at her condo.
wrapped her pressie in the morning.
met fahms at my mrt station.
thn i saw his olympus bag.
thn i went oh sharts. i forgot to bring the present.
but too late. he alr saw me in my pocahontas outfit.
so i walked back hm. changed. took the pressie. and left my place.
trained to cel's place. and we were stuper early.
got free magic show. short bouts of camwhoring.
till SABOTEUR!
dinnered. caked. camwhored.
thn went to st james.
and omg gross.
but there was a cute guy.
anyway.
didnt manage to drink. but didnt feel like too.
so cabbed hm when the club closed and slept at abt 5.

next morning was super tired.
woken up by kim's call.
cabbed to her place thn watched CORALINE.
bobby is love. :D

then was k day. :D
and dinner was madness.

wii-ed.
mahjong-ed.
east coast parked.
ice-creamed.
drank.
timbre-ed.
1504-ed.
got free booze.:D

2012 was epic. and we're all gonna die.

2009-11-11T00:43:00.002+08:00

saboteur madness.

am super tireddddd!
saboteur. we played at mind's, smu and finally, alvin's place. lol.
im guessing we alr spent about 10 hours on it.

birthdays are in the air. there's at least five people celebrating in the same week in nov. madness.

am excited about things :D
but i feel like i need rest.
somehow, i dont know why and i think i mentioned before, i feel drained. practically all the time. bah.

2009-11-10T12:44:00.002+08:00

when life gives you lemons, you could choose to be sour about it or make lemonade outta it.
least i managed to remember one line. lol.

im feeling constantly drained. why.
my eyebags are at an all time black.
expo on sunday was eventful. cos 3 churches were having their services there.
and there was the robinsons sale thing and the walk thing.
so imagine.
it was jammed on both sides.
carpark which is huge was full.
people were illegally parking practically everywhere.
i think everyone frenzied to finding lots. haha. but its cool.

all i remember was drinking in broad daylight. where the sun was shining on me and the sand was feeling rough.
and yeah i got a lil tanned. even though i was in the shade. oh great. i'll get skin cancer earlier than everyone else me thinks.

s.a. loh's got bad news again.
now i know why there's the constant clicking sound when i open or close my mouth.
the jaws and teeth are going haywire no thanks to the wisdom.
which means. ive gotta start extracting my bottom wisdoms.
which means antibiotics and swelling. and in army terms, 1week mc. lol.
but damn. my holidayssss! am so not getting the feeling to call them to book my appointment.
and im having difficulty eating now since he raised my bite again to prevent more clicking.
gonna lose weight. haha.

mr tang's old specs and shirt combi is funny. now that ive come to think of it. hey it wasnt that bad a long time ago. lol.

2009-11-07T15:37:00.004+08:00

harddisk is full. sigh.

my decision-making and logical senses have been impaired ever since the end of exams.
oh gawd. i suck.

im feeling shitty cos somehow i seem to do things wrongly. all the time.
its not about being perfect at everything i do. but at the very least i shouldnt be pissing people or pissing myself off for that matter.
and the ugly side is an understatement. bah.
i've been feeling tired constantly. and shit. i need to find the vibe i used to have.
no wonder my posts screams negativity.

went for a wedding yesterday.
wedding's are always the same. and its even more awkward when u hardly know anyone there.
well, yesterday was like that. seriously im supposed to know the bride. but i recognise her dad instead. haha.
and many others i guess. from my mom's side.
just that. weird.
but that's not why im writing about the wedding.
the main thing is the bride and groom are from UB.
and the groom's from SIM.
and the whole time at the wedding i was thinking about how close i was to timbre with goodfellas playing.
it was just a bridge away!.

but yeah. i missed my aunt's childcare concert to go to the wedding thing with popo.
and its the first in a good ten years that im not helping at the concert.
but the rehearsals clashed with exams. so yeah.

the wedding dragged tilll late and i fell asleep in the car and dad was nagging my ears off. so i didnt meet anyone after the wedding.

part of the nagging was cos of the walk i had this morning.
woke up and bathed and headed to clarke quay.
church organised the 'walk with diabetes'.
and it was funny cos the route passed by all the main clubs. other than dblo.
so we walked from the field thing to central through cafe iguana and home club.
thn till UOB plaza, till fullerton hotel, till timbre, till zirca, till attica, till social house, till riverside quay, till eM, till zouk and all the way back to the field thing.

finally got to eat mac's since i dont know when.
and im home. feeling uber drained.
bathed and trying not to get to slp. oh great im torturing myself.

2009-11-06T00:18:00.003+08:00

exams are over

so, how should i go about doing this.
erm. the first thing i did when i got home was to clear the crazy paper-filled dining table.
and tdy proved company was important. and im grateful for that. :D
and i feel bad. cos there are things i know i should do. but my drained self, be it physically or mentally, isnt able to fulfill those commitments. so i have disappointed, that i am very sure of. but the thing is, i cant help it.

i am feel super tired.
my body is aching.
ive been living on vitc the past few days.
otherwise im positive that i'll be laying in bed and nusing some fever i'll get.
cos i was already starting to feel sick and feverish since monday night.

oh great. im typing at a seriously slow and laboured speed.

im just hoping the strike thing in aussie (again!!! same thing happened the last sem!) will end somehow, otherwise i wont be getting my results. i mean the knowing results part i am afraid, but the anticipation is killing me.

need to do something about my brows. i need to get back to society.
i feel flinstoned.

okay im seriously seeing double now. shall contd tmr. ciao.

2009-11-01T21:34:00.003+08:00

thing is.
i always thought i was walking towards the light.
but at the end of the road i realised.
the light was coming from the hole on the wall.
and i aint going anywhere.

had dinner yesterday with mama and yeye.
was mama's birthday.
had the taiwanese porridge thing.
was raining madness yesterday so everywhere was flooding.
especially toa payoh.
and they even had the wooden boxes thing in front of the entrance and the place was empty.
which isnt usually the case.
anyway. after dinner went back with dad.
mom was busy doing a proj at her friend's place.
her exams are coming and thankfully mine's ending so for once we wouldnt be fighting for the dining table.
cos we share the same habit. (genetics maybe?). we need wide open places to mug.

woke early for church tdy.
partly cos i was feeling guilty for not touching my notes the whole of saturday.
church was interesting seriously. suddenly feels like i missed out on a lot of stuff.

been feeling like im getting sick so havent really got the mood to mug.
all i feel like is that im trying my best to stuff everything i can into my brain thats trying to fight the flu.
so its all bits and pieces.
isnt helping that the paper's on thurs and i havent really understood what the lecturers have been talking about.
am so looking forward to after the paperrrs!.
there's clubbing sessions, movie marathons, guitarringgg, and meetups and loads!
and mstan and soph! :D

itunes been spinning anberlin again.
love the voice of the lead tho.
he rocks :D love. LOL.

shall go get more blueberry cheesecake and start running after exams.

2009-10-31T14:44:00.003+08:00

its been long.
and its halloweeen.
that feels exceptionally weird.

anyway, been feeling detached from society.
basically exams got the better of me and i've been trying to mug.
and im keeping fingers crossed i'll scrape through all my papers.

still go the last one though. and things have already gone the downslide.

feel like running away from everything.
but where can i run to, exactly.

just realised theory of the deadman's songs are freaking nice.
only repeated the usuals and realised the rest are good too. bah.

and am going to read the dictionary for long and weird words. inspired by LOVE HAPPENS. and i seriously love rocky. :D
Julie and Julia was not bad. love amy adams.

been spending on trips to wala wala and timbre. oh great. martinis and buffalo wingsssss. but who gives. music's good. haha. goodfella's set yesterday was fantabulous! and they played the request.

am thinking of getting a job for the holidays. thinking of going summer school next holidays.
sigh. job job job.. and there are trips to plan :D

the holidays are going to feel empty without having to go to ubi.
haha. i kinda miss the circuit and the instructors and the super long queues for uturn.
ironic and weird but yeah.
but maybe i shouldnt haha.

im supposed to be getting down to studying BF. sighhhhh.
cant stuff finance into my brain. its the lastttttt.
i need the motivation bah.
and omg. my language is seriously getting chui. LOL. the whole entry feels weird.

2009-10-31T14:14:00.002+08:00

Here we are
At the end
Say goodbye to all your friends
Here we go waching the sun go round
Sitting on a roodtop making time stop
I never want to come back down never want to come down

Its the end of the summer
Its the end of it all
Those days are gone its over now were moving on
Its the end of the summer
But we'll see it all again
So hold on till this moment till then
Its the end of the summer

Here we stand
In the middle of an empty street
Tell me where you want to go
I'll tell you thats where i want to be
Say goodbye to the warm breeze
We could be almost anywhere
Ill miss you till the next time
I hope i see you there
I hope i see you back here.

Its the end of the summer
Its the end of it all
Those days are gone its over now were moving on
Its the end of the summer
But we'll see it all again
So hold on till this moment till then
Its the end of the summer end of the summer

Rides almost over
Its getting colder
Take one last look
Before it passes by
Before it passes you by

Its the end of the summer
Its the end of it all
Those days are gone its over now were moving on
Its the end of the summer
But we'll see it all again
So hold on till this moment till then
Its the end of the summer [repeat x2]

End of the summer

End of the summer - Theory of a deadman.

2009-10-22T19:39:00.002+08:00

38 lessons
and 2 driving tests
and $2560 + $12 later.

i see a graduated chop on my comfort delgro class 3 training record book.
and omg. my pdl was going to be due 25th. so if i did flunk it. it'll be another pdl.

but yeah. I PASSED MY DRIVING, like finally. haha. :D

now its the exams. plagued with nightmares.

2009-10-11T03:13:00.001+08:00

ck scared the shit outta me.

okay. demure. i forgot.

2009-10-11T03:08:00.003+08:00

we can just go on and on about the same issue fahms.
LOL. justin long, gerard butler not!

im sick of studying about dead people and how singapore employment systems will be of benefit to us or me in the near future.
that's what im guessing is the purpose of it all.

and crap. i still think i suck at writing lyrics. i hope m doesnt kill me.
but the rest are pros seriously.

fahms says i skip too many steps.
and no he isnt going to make me sound like a bimbo.
haha.

i hope i can mug u into my head, dead people.
sleepy. shall contd anything else im supposed to do tmr.

2009-10-10T02:34:00.003+08:00

(500) days of summer : is no love story.

caught that with krys just now at cathay.
before that studied at starbucks.
before that lunched with her at airport.
seriously, we were trying to kill time and she needed to sit.
and she chose yamaha of all places.
so we sat at the keyboard. and started playing.
crap it was like the uber pro guy at the baby grand nearby, exchanging looks.
and i am barely anywhere his standard. i havent played in ages.

(500)days of summer taught me a lot. much more than the ugly truth.
at least. it's more realistic. it's what happens. it's how people feel. especially when it isnt a happy ending.
but seriously, the ratings werent wrong. it is freaking nice. but well, maybe its also cos i feel for the guy, sentiments exactly.

thurs had lecture.
then met wanlin.
went to haji to help her hunt for dresses. but to no avail.
walked to bugis it didnt quite work. other than the one from dorothy perkins.
so we ate. quite a lot of things happened.
her friend came. we went sheesha together.
this time her friend got a new place. and the place is nice.
just that the sheesha tasted weird.

mugging is madness.
and i still feel my hair's weird. bah.
shorttttttttttttt.

and omg. the electric guitars are tempting.
and thanks fahms for the acoustic guitar. :D i love it. but i still feel bad.
and no i havent opened the paramore cd. i feel guilty.

2009-10-10T01:53:00.005+08:00

i feel suffocated.

m was right. it will haunt me. it just did. for a moment i thought i died.
crap.
well. its good that he'd move on anyway.

(500) days of summer was inspiring.
but not fast enough to get into my brain before the thing i saw.
so. sigh.
but yeah. i swear i totally get what tom hansen was going through.
cos guess what? THAT IS ME.
all that whats going on.
and the insecurities.
and he took more than a year.
wish me luck.

turns out. love just isnt it.
the problem is that people only choose to remember the good parts. that makes things harder.

i know i should bid u adieu.
delete.
block.
whatnots.
but crap.
why am i the coward i am.
especially when there is someone else.
and you're having the time of your life.
cos i figured. ure simple.
and the song is apt. shall post lyrics soon.
friend just said i should be happy for u.

oh FML.

2009-10-09T00:42:00.002+08:00

its the time of the year that i get an email from friendster telling me that weichoo's birthday is coming.
and i cant help but feel sad when i realise that she is no longer here.
its been 3 years it still feels weird whenever im reminded how she left.

2009-10-08T09:17:00.002+08:00

is the despair that great that there isnt even the least courage to ask anymore. crap.

exams are nearing which means i need to start mugging.
which is always hard to start. so i have my ER notes next to me with me trying desperately to concentrate but blogger seems like a distraction bad enough.

i went to the hairdresser's on tues.
decided i shouldnt try anymore of the DIYs which obviously doesnt work. LOL.
though it was only that once. but my hair's messed up enough. i figured professional help was the way to go.
so yeah. she snipped.
now my hair's a little over the shoulders as compared to its original long state.
im not used to my head feeling light.
met ck to go visit m at the hospital.
the hospital's registration thing is irritating. bah.
anyway, we didnt stay for long. his left leg's in a cast.
looks scary.
thn went for dinner.
took the bus in the apparent wrong direction.
ended up at kaki bukit.
cabbed to tam.
had pasta.
ck says hes going to india.

lecture for BF was cancelled yesterday.
met aldwin for lunch.
he went to school. i went to get my contacts.
border's didnt have what i wanted. sigh.
bused home to help mom settle stuff.
bused to cgh to visit m.
went to starbucks to study for a bit. before going to cathay.
caught cloudy with a chance of meatballs in 3d.
cute lar. and funny.
i absolutely love the dad. :D

meeting wanlin after sch. :D

i need to get a new wardrobe.
i need to mug.
i need to learn to love, desperately love; ER, BF, PM, HMT. I LOVEEEE. oh crap it isnt working.

2009-10-06T13:49:00.004+08:00

zj & val rocks.

okay. this is a tribute. :D
they bake mean cookies, tarts, mooncakes!

yesterday was fun.
had driving in the afternoon.
and omg. my parallel parking i think i totally forgot everything.
and its been more than a month since i last drove.
i can tell the instructor was trying to console me in the midst of asking me to rmb the bus lane on my tp.
so okay. does that mean im going to to GG on tht day.
i think so.

went home and dilly dallied.
packed the cups and plates.
thn headed to school.
its been ages since i last took train to school.
met the rest. went on a photocopying spree for ER.
thn took the bus to esplanade.
and OMG. it was such a freaking long journey there.
tireddddddd.
listened to tons of songs.
did tons of the shake head movements.
played tap tap for a lot of random songs ive nvr played nor heard before.
i think the lady in front of us mustve thought we were nuts.
then it was down to the ultimate solution at times like this: CAMWHORE!
that explains the 173 pics i have in my phone.
but deleted a lot cos too blurred. crap.
but yeah. its bad enough.

anyway. we got dinner at marina.
randomly went to the 25hours shop and was given a party kit and vouchers. crap.
walked to esplanade.
i got mrs field's :DDDD
thn we started our potluck. LOL.
got booze.
things started to get scary when the security came and said., cannot put candles around. littering. u all celebrating birthday?
we went 'yeah'.
but wait. there were sparkles and lanterns.
anyway. idk how we did it. but we left at 11plus.
and val kneed me butt. pain sia!
val was drunk.
cel was high.
hs was positively red.
me and fahms were sane.

pics: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=159629&id=705767906&l=daa672f950

i think whoever i talked to on msn. i wasnt talking sane. muahahaha.

2009-10-04T22:30:00.016+08:00

today i realised something.

i never hated him for disappearing.

i just hated myself for not getting over it. cos it was nothing to him.

and he's moved on i guess.

all i remember i did was sleeping the whole day on sat. i was super tired and drained.

church today was cool seriously.

one of the reasons why i love my youth pastor :D.

but yeah. the sermon was inspiring. coolest part were the lights from the handphones.

only managed to take pics through the screen on stage.

lunched with mom and her cell after church.

was running late and couldnt go home.

trained to dhoby and met rak.

watched movie and shopped and walked.

trained back home but when i reached tanah merah turns out fahms was there alr.

so got onto fahms' car and dinnered at the food place opp. bedok camp.

okay i keep forgetting the name of that place. considering how near it is to my place.

acc. him to get dinner for parents at tam.

thn he stoned at my carpark.

mom was hogging my lappy. sigh.

m got hurt and is getting an op. bah.

i feel for kh. sigh.

and yes fahms i am a innocent girl. :X

the last something that meant anything - mayday parade.

2009-10-03T15:06:00.003+08:00

cranky.

thurs; happy children's day.
sleeping in fahmy's car is starting to be a ritual.
late for class. sat at the back chairs.
and then class ended early.
okay so maybe he didnt end early.
but we skipped the video. which was very unscholarly of us to do so. but sigh.
i think a lot of ppl came late. fahms told me daniel was one of them. and cel.
but yah. if it wasnt for the msgs SIM sends noone wouldve known.

we popeyed at flyer.
freaking full and sinful. for that i'll have to go run a few more kilometers.
thn we stoned outside.
was walking back to the car when we started the piggyback thing.
and omg. great i am heavy.
but amazingly. cel could piggyback me.
and yeah i get freaked out when im on backs. esp. when the person is tall.
pooled at bukit timah. again.
bused to school with min.
went for photog workshop. which was awkward. the whole time i guess.
went for guitar meeting. which was weird too.
met rak at clarke quay.
dinnered.
stoned by the river.
thn went to dbl o.
i think we shared 2 jugs and i had 2 shots.
and we could still play pool. that was madness.
was home abt 3plus. i was totally drained.

and the cabby was weird.
cabby: oh u look like a good girl. did u drink much? if u need anything you can tell me.
that was nice and good service for that matter till it started to get weird...
cabby: oh my son has a gf now. i dont really like her. cos she's a dropout and doesnt do the dishes when she comes for dinner. my son is a nice person. hes studying in australia. coming back dec.
me: i see.
cabby: what are u studying? what do ur parents do? are you christian? what denomination? do u go to church every sunday? do u have siblings? what do they do? do u have a boyfriend and whats his race? how many boyfriends have u had? i like ur attitude.
me: ........
cabby: i think i wait for you here thn if got anything u can shout i can go save u.
me: !!!!!!

friday.
i was super stoned. mom woke me cos she couldnt find her specs.
and i couldnt go back to slp. i had dental.
sigh. dr low still thinks im in sec school after 1.5 years with him.
i see him every month!
but yah he says its almost done. but i gotta extract the bottom wisdom tooth. :X
got home and contd sleeping.
met aldwin. walked ion.
bused back to cathay and watched funny people.
adam sandler is cool. but the movie was kind of long and slow.
went to find rak and ami.
then went to tau huey place.
and played pool. crap.
took NR back.

i need to start mugging. i cant afford to flunk any. any of the papers.
cos i cant imagine myself having to go through the torment i went thru this sem all over again next sem.

2009-09-30T22:14:00.002+08:00

it is always when i look back and realise.
what have i wasted my time on.

and i looked back and realised.
that i never meant anything. and you didnt want anything.
no strings attached.

monday was stoning at home.
had steamboat at night at joaquim at suntec with unimates. :D
stoned at marina cos we couldnt go to esplanade. the fences werent taken down yet.

tues met up with m.
jammed at pomo. it was cool seriously. when theyre pros. and im feeling novice/juvenile/whatnots.

tdy was pool.
and f21's here. :D

misguided ghosts - paramore.

2009-09-28T13:15:00.002+08:00

just when i thought everything was going to be a beautiful coincidence.
it turned out not that beautiful after all.

i loved it when i turn to mtvasia i always saw green day's 21 guns playing.
i loved it when everything fell into place nicely.

it was all anticipation when i was going to club this thurs.
until.
all hell broke loose.
photog workshop's on thurs. still okay.
class on thurs became 830am. oh nuts.
and omfg. guitar club meeting's on thurs tooo.
and omfgx2. there's this sim butterfact event on thurs.
rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

sometimes.
things falling into place.
could get get you crushed.

and im sure i am.
good luck to me.
its gonna be hectic.

2009-09-28T00:08:00.002+08:00

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one would you believe me
If I ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say
So you don’t leave me
The world is catching up to you while your running away to chace your dream
Its time for us to make a move cuz we are asking one another to change
And maybe im not ready but

Chorus:
I try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love

We’ve been hiding enough
If I sing you a song
Would you sing along
Away till im gone
Oh how we're pushing through
If I give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it’s the start of something beautiful
Am I catching up to you while your running away to chase your dreams
Its time for us to face the truth cuz we’re coming to eachother to change
And maybe im not ready but

Chorus x2

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one would you believe me

Try by Asher Book
Fame OST.

2009-09-26T10:34:00.002+08:00

success is when you wake up happy about what you're doing.
success is when you go to sleep you're happy about what you have done.
success is having joy, freedom and friendship.
[fame, 2009]

i need to keep track of my life. and what ive done. thats why this blog existed i guess.
updates:
thursday was project submission day.
went to lecture late.
got lunch from mac's drive thru.
only got to lecture during break.
ammended proj a little at labs.
handed it in.
went to fahmy's place for raya.
played wii.
played guitar.
hs is pro seriously.
dinnered at simpang :D

yesterday was supposed to be the stony day.
i dont know but with everything that happened the past 2 months. i somehow felt i needed time for myself.
just doing nth at home. or finding something to do.
bottomline is at home and by myself. i guess i just need the peace and quiet.
yet i know it sucks to not see anyone and cover myself in that shell of mine again.
that's not the point.

anyway. met val,zj,fahms,hs,cel and watched 4bia2.
and damnnit it was freaky.
as much as the coward i already am when it comes to horror, though i freaking hate gore, somehow the show was nice.
haha.
but some parts are crap lar.
so the story's to tell.

1. do not throw stones at cars u might kill your dad and you'll get haunted when u take away offerings for the hungry ghosts. (uncanny resemblance with where got ghost?)
2. do not stay at the hospital ward with a brain dead patient who's living on a respirator and is a leader of a cult.
3. do not hitchhike. you might get onto a drug dealer's truck and there're nothing but dead bodies at the back.
4. do not buy secondhand cars or sell secondhand cars for that matter. the cars could have gone through accidents and have had people jumping off buildings and landing on them.
5. it's okay to film ghost stories. just make sure you do know who are the ones alive and dont get cursed.

met aldwin.
had aston's.
watched fame.
its seriously cool lar.
if i get school breaks like that i would be ecstatic. haha.
a bit monotonous i agree. but overall it isnt as bad as the 2star rating.
and the song is nice.
trained to timbre.
just for goodfellas. haha.
and omg. they sang nobody by wondergirls.
and it was the korean version. LOL.
somehow i felt it was better at substation. bah.
trained home. reached at almost 2.

i need to go run. and i will.

2009-09-24T01:34:00.003+08:00

The Only Exception - Paramore

When i was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And cursed at the wind

He broke his own heart
And i watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day i promised
Id never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe i know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And i've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that
I'm content With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know your leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Oh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, And Im on my way to believing.

less than a day and its alr 18 play counts. madness.

2009-09-24T01:05:00.004+08:00

i can finally blog.

finally done with the essay.
i admit ive been lazy and been going out and been lazing around.
but yeah.
i finally dont have to see it for at least 2 weeks?
till i have to hit the books again for exams.

anyway. im suffering from blogger withdrawal symptoms.
so here goes.

sunday met ck.
acc. him to the games convention thing.
but was late barely saw anything. haha.
went to food fair.
saw kuohsiung.
ate a lot. ck ate more.
got famous amos cookies. :D
im an absolute sucker for butterscotch chip with pecan nuts. :D

watched Inglorious Bastards.
was nice and funny. except the slicing scalp parts.
brad pitt's accent is absolutely crap.

walked to esplanade with ck.
m picked us and we went for supper.
thn went for a joyride.
passing by everything from kembangan to marsiling.
hougang, lor ah soo, paya lebar, serangoon, mandai, nee soon camp.
LOL.
dropped ck and we went drinking.
at my fitness corner.
till 4am! gasp.

monday was nice. seriously.
and i think i was in a good mood.
anyway. had din tai fung.
aldwin wanted to do shopping.
and yeah seriously shopped. like what 200 bucks?
lemme list his list: amazingly all tees. from edit., everlast, bossini, pull and bear.
i managed to get a tank frm pull and bear and polo from net. i keep feeling like ive got no clothes to wear these days sigh.
headed to timbre.
booked a table.
and we were feasting like hungry ghosts. LOL.
buffalo wings. half and half (roast duck and german sausage). indigo. strawberry champagne.
it was kinest asia. reverie&rene was playing.
got super tired and left early.
walked to esplanade.
stoned there and omg.
i finally own him one song for tap tap.
and its a song i like lar. haha.
trained home.
super tired and slept.
which meant. i didnt manage to do anything at all for the friggin essay!.

so tues and weds was nothing but doing the essay.
mcdonald's delivery screwed up. so the guy had to send me my stuff again.

when dad's at home it usually means i'll get fat.
cos he makes sure i eat my meals.

tmr's school. this week's nice seriously. only 1 lesson this week.
and tmr gonna go fahms place for puasa :D

and omg. paramore's new album rocks. from the first song to last. tho. ignorance's been out for some time. but seriously. i think im gonna posts lots of lyrics. :D

and i realised i wrote real bad for this entry. oh great so all my literary skills got eaten up by hmt too.

2009-09-22T17:19:00.001+08:00

screw scientific management. screw taylor.

i swore. yeah i know. not the first time anyways.

BLEAH HMT SUCKS!!!!!!

2009-09-20T13:54:00.000+08:00

technology is a mad race.

2009-09-20T12:02:00.005+08:00

sometimes. it doesnt mean ur assertion worked and im following ur perspective.
sometimes, its just i cant be bothered or am too pissed or too tired to continue that conversation.
and sometimes, that is because you never saw it in my perspective in the first place.

rahhhhhhhhh. im so going to kill frederick taylor. wait. he died.

2009-09-20T09:32:00.002+08:00

randoms is love.

im am so freaking screwed my hmt report still stands at 0 words.
so screwed so screwed so screwed.
argh. frederick winslow taylor!

yesterday woke super early trying to do hmt.
and great. i think i stoned the whole morning.
other than guitar which was a mediocre one.
but yeah.
went to BF class.
we were late.
stoned in class.
and omg. i was listening! and i understood what the lecturer said!. with minimal distraction.
which meant wifi was used minimally. i wasnt scribbling things in my notebook. and i was writing and highlighting notes.
maybe thats just cos i was refusing to start reading up the stuff for the proj.
bah. its taxing. :X

after school we went to smu flea.
didnt really see anything. actually we didnt really look.
took bus to cine.
played foosball. and omg. i love foosball even more now :D.
played about 5 rounds.
dinnered at shokudo streets. we stoned till 10 plus almost 11.
trained home.
slept almost immediately.
sigh.

2009-09-20T09:26:00.000+08:00

Fortune Teller Genius

Question: f**k

Answer: No... don't waste your time on that.

LOL.

2009-09-19T08:34:00.005+08:00

mike: im in love with a psycho.
abby: are you calling me a psycho?
mike: im trying to tell you im in love with you and all you heard was psycho?

180909
school was upsetting.
lecture ended in an hour. LOL.
anyway, got brunch from drive-thru.
went home and stoned in the front of the computer. with occasional practice of songs.
met daryl and huimin.
its been a seriously long 5 years!
gonna miss him when he goes to uk. sigh.
bah why is everyone flying away :(

anyway, went to parkway.
got a lift from daryl to town.
walked to wheelock.
bought a book.
walked back to mrt.
took mrt to cathay.
stoned at starbucks while waiting for ck.
cathay was kinda full.
went to ps instead.
caught a movie. think im gonna watch it again.
but its seriously nice and practical.
caught last train home.

im so screwed. how do i get my mind into doing hmt again.

2009-09-17T10:34:00.001+08:00

daily updates?

its become a habit i guess.

woke up super early for BF class.
was super tired.
slept in fahms' car.
my lappy's batt died super fast.
oh wells, its antique. haha.
and as usual we werent listening in class again.
im pretty sure we'll be mugging nuts like the last exams.

lunched at makan place.
and then we headed to nlb.
fahms drove and gasp! the parking fee's a whopping 8 bucks.
for about 4 hours.
got books.
i swear i was super tired.
shimin exclaimed she was going to fall asleep.
gawd. me too.
i almost died.
esp. when the books were small font and thick.
i met this uber nice librarian who's super nice :D she should get an award or something.

acc. fahmy to get dinner.
i got botak jones. :D
this just means i need to go jogging again.
gotta lose the pounds!

im just foreseeing the coming days till next wed im going to be uber stoned with scientific management in my head. all clogged up in my brain.

and that will definitely impair my thoughts.
so dont mind me when i start to act weird or get exuberantly high or emo. LOL.

2009-09-16T23:19:00.002+08:00

21 guns bagged the awards. im not complaining thts for sure :D.

anyway, im feeling kind of unlucky.
since my zip for the pencilbox broke and my phone's stylus string thingy broke too.
oh great.

2009-09-16T20:10:00.002+08:00

the bones form dents on my hands.

met kor.
watched blood ties. which wasnt scary as how i heard it would be.
yeah love story is right. haha.
but its different from the conventional ones. just the repeating parts gets me dizzy.
went to shisha.
the regular place wasnt going to have shisha till 7.
the other place wasnt open.
so we just found somewhere with shisha.
stoned for long.
got dinner.
play pool.
got booze.
went to ecp.
and contd stoning.
and seriously. it is nice talking to him cos i get advice. good ones. practical ones.
its just i need to get that courage to do the things he said i should.
but its easier said than done.

anyway, my life's kind of back to normal i guess.
just that the occasional bouts of emotional weird stuff would get to me.
which. i try my best to get over.
but oh great im feeling it again when im typing this.
maybe its the proj thats due soon.

argh i need to get a life.

2009-09-14T23:19:00.003+08:00

the daily affair.

i think its my body clock. ive been waking up automatically.
woke up feeling a sore throat is coming. and it freaked me out.
cos my sore throats always last for 2 weeks. and it usually means i have to go see the doc for the second time cos its not cleared even after i finish the meds.
and i hate to feel that i cant talk.

so i was downing lots of water and that honey tea thing i found at home.
listened to mtv.
played guitar.
attempted to try to start hmt to no avail. this is bad. i need to start!
then packed stuff and left the house.
realised i didnt eat anything till when i was on the train.
got mrs field's again :D
and water.
went to practice room with fahms to start piano lesson 1.
booked 1.30-3.30.
but left at 5. LOL.
perks of going on a ulu day. hahaha.

went to roof for guitar session.
bar chords are killing me.
its either my fingers dont press that well. or the sound just turns out stubby.
sigh.
and seriously i was losing my voice. :(

headed hm.
fahms was late for buka.

my phone seems to have a mind of its own.

met aldwin to pass the guy his cd.
he forgot all abt it.
anyway. dinner at simpang.
walked hm from there.
went to ntuc.
stoned at fitness corner.
saw my art teacher.
and headed home.
i dont know what ive been doing since 10pm.
sigh.
and im feeling restless alr.
bah.

2009-09-13T12:32:00.001+08:00

i keep doing things that i know i will regret.
bah how to stop myself from telling.
im hoping he'll erase it. sigh.

2009-09-13T03:19:00.002+08:00

10th day since the aftermath.
and im still living.
thank god.
thanks to the guitar.
thanks the senses i still have in me.

btw, this is post 650th.

2009-09-13T02:54:00.004+08:00

its interesting how things turn out. even after some time.

woke.
guitared.
stoned.
left home for ben & jerry's chunkfest.
which was kind of disappointing.
was it cos i was early? but no wait, it was 4pm.
and the weather was a tad too good.
coincidentally met amos at the queue for the shuttle bus from marina bay to marina barrage. haha
was supposed to meet him there. but we were late.
met shimin.
had triple caramel. :D
val and yy decided not to come.
so. met them at somerset.
foosballed.
stoned at gloria jean's.
headed to pasir ris. bh's birthday.
saw xiaoyou and boss and taigong. :D
amos was late for our pact.
went to arcade and played pool at ehub.
boss gave a lift home. :)

i realised certain things need to be let out of the system. although the things might lead to wrong interpretations. and though at times its weird. even if it means that you didnt used to be close to that person.

and yeah. maybe i should write my own 'just not that into you' book. LOL.

2009-09-12T01:18:00.001+08:00

mom sent me an email about retirement.
is that a hint?

2009-09-12T00:57:00.005+08:00

myself.

reflections for this one.
i realised.
i havent been myself the past few months.
its always either trying to keep myself in that protective circle or just making a tad too many moves which i nvr thought i would do.
and which. is not me.
okay its confusing.
im confused myself.
but thats how ive been feeling for a long time. and its tiring.
so seriously. any weird or inane behaviours of mine. please ignore me. treat me as invisible. whatnots.

school. was stoning as usual. except that we were sitting practically in front of lecturer.
so all i rmbed was val and zj playing bingo.
i was a good girl and took notes but was soon bought over by my itouch.
shimin was soon bought over by horoscope reading on a webby fahms found.
fahms was using his phone to surf.
cel was reading on the horoscope stuff too and listening to songs.
oh great.
LOL. the things we do in class seriously.
and seriously. the lecturer was staring at us.
i'll be so dead, come october. :X

went to kino. helped shimin queue for the mag.
played bingo.
the japanese guy is super nice.
and it was funny. cos we were playing our 14 rounds of bingo. and there were occasional giggles.
he came over and thought what was wrong and thn he realised we were bingo-ing.
and he said: 'oh. game - o.' but jap, ive forgotten most of it.
we lunched at crystal jade.
and headed to mind's cafe.
and i realised the last time i was at mind's. i was booking the hotel room to stay with fel and ck.
and i realised it was when everything was okay and went normal.
when we were all still talking and everything.
but yeah. its been more than a month alr.

anyway left early and met aldwin.
dinnered. manhatten.
9 was selling fast at gv.
walked to cathay. but they werent showing.
walked the whole of cathay.
thn walked to esplanade.
finally got my brownie :D
and OMG!! WEST GRAND BOULEVARD WAS PLAYING!
and i thought i totally missed them for baybeats.
but yeah it was nice.
got owned for tap tap revenge.
sigh.

been super tired these days though.
and sleeping early.
and i need to start my hmt. i havent even chosen the topic.

2009-09-10T23:27:00.001+08:00

blogger's layout is nuts again.

oh great im feeling super high now.
and i wonder why
tdy was madness.
i woke up early.
and felt hungry
so went down to ntuc to get food to bring to lec.
at 8am. 8AM!
and fahms was picking up at 8.30am.
which meant i had half an hour to get food. get changed. pack my bag.
lol. and i made it! :D

anyway. we were totally not listening in class.
listening to songs more like.
hmt lecturer must be upset.
but. sigh. it seriously is tiring.
and concentration is hard to achieve though its required thats for sure.
so how am i going to actually do my assignment and pass through my exams!!!
gawd.
esp. when its all cluttered to the time after my 21st.
after my 2nd tp.
tell me about it.

anyway, after class we caught gamer.
gerard butler is just seriously uber uber handsome. and cute and whatnots. :D
it was okay lar the show. quite cool.
val reminded me how i always had crispy chicken for breaks when i was still working at cathay.
but seriously havent had it in the longest time ever.

went to the IT fair.
crowded like nuts on a thurs.
and itouch was selling at 388bucks for 16gb.

itouch died.
so endured the journey home without music.
cleared a lot of msges.
had dinner with dad before heading to aunt;s place to see granny.
she hasnt been feeling well. back aches.
seen the doc but the doc just said she carried heavy stuff. and she didnt.
gave her meds to improve blood circulation.
she says its better now but she cant sit for too long.
same situation as my aunt. sigh.

and i saw bobby. aww i miss him so much. :D

krys' exams end when kim's starts LOL.

anberlin's spinning on itunes.
i just wonder how on earth with 700 songs on my itunes. i can keep getting that same song nonetheless when its on shuffle.
i am just that unlucky arent i.

2009-09-09T23:40:00.002+08:00

090909.

i dont talk normal when im sleepy.

2009-09-09T23:09:00.005+08:00

a woman fell off the cliff when her boyfriend proposed to her.
so much for falling in love.

im really becoming a panda.
my dark eye bags are beyond recognition. :(
its time for eye brighteners. and sleep.

ive been fiddling with bf a tad too much.
that sounds wrong. i think i should call him something else.
but guitar is so.. i dont know.
so. sigh i should just find some way to call him.

anyway. instead of studying for my prices and markets test.
ive been trying to figure my guitar out.
the chords and such.
i still suck at tabs i think. i always have this urge to turn my lappy over. cos tabs read differently from chords.
and i guess i have a one-track mind when it comes to reading such stuff.
as so for my piano, just that im more used to it. after all, its been some time and ive been scolded tons of times more.

so. now im trying to learn blind by lifehouse. haha.
6th day running. please let the interest not wear out this time though. its worn out too many times.

anyway, updates.
monday was spent at home and practiced the songs and three cheers on piano.
dad was home. he's kind of lost his sense of taste. sigh.
met aldwin for dinner.
and then it was i love you, beth cooper. which was okay.
and oh great i realised i didnt manage to get anything into my brain for test.
so came tuesday, and i was seriously determined to mug p&m. i had to i couldnt be flunking anything now.
but yeah. i mugged the whole day. with occasional distractions.
so tdy's test. i wasnt confident at all.
and got briyani again. i should stop eating it for some time.

and im upset. i still cant do the tongue trill after so long.
how am i to go on for the brett manning's singing success. LOL.
i still have 9 discs to go. sigh. i regret not listening to him during the workshop that time.

tmr's more or less back to life.
just tht the next due date for history of management thought is 24sept.
which one month later is my birthday.
and 22oct is next tp. oh please let me pass this time.

should i get serious guitar training? sigh.

omg and the tongue trill. bah.
i figured i returned everything i learned to choir.

2009-09-07T16:31:00.001+08:00

im not going to coop myself in.
there's like a whole, much bigger world out there.

2009-09-07T15:33:00.001+08:00

I don't want this moment, to ever end,
Where everything's nothing, without you.
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go.

Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go.

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

(What you will find, what you will find, what you will find.)

I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let (go).
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go.

with me - sum41

2009-09-07T09:29:00.004+08:00

each moment is as slow and transparent as glass

time. what is time.
somehow i wished that i could time travel. just like henry.
no actually, like alba. least i can choose.

met wanlin.
had aston's.
im seriously pigging out again.
this is bad. i need to lose the pounds.
anyway. we were shopping in marks and spencer.
got chips and cookies.
dropped by yamaha. didnt get the capo and tuner. sigh.

went to raffles city.
super tempted to shop again.
walked to bras basah.
swee lee didnt have what i was finding :(.
got ice-cream.
thn walked back to cathay.
watched time traveler's wife.
its nice. its sweet. its better than i expected.
the emotions and all.

didnt know what to do. so went to carrefour.
didnt have anything with us other than our bags.
but oh wells. got a trolley.
went around.
sat the keyboard thing and we started playing. haha.
miss those days seriously.
and omg i found one place that the demo toys actually work! carrefour! LOL.
anyway, we sat till they were closing.
thn trained home.

i need to start p&m tdy. its on wed and i havent started reading up. im so screwed.

i like the pain/numbing feeling on the left fingertips.
idk why but i do.
:D

2009-09-06T10:57:00.004+08:00

when the merlion act never ends.

05sept09
school on saturdays are never fun.
much less the odd timings theyre starting to get planned at.
anyway, class was 12-3pm.
and we headed down to esplanade in hope to book piano room to teach piano.
then. i remembered how it was constantly full 1 year ago.
well, things havent changed.
still gotta book it 2 days in advance.
so in the end we just walked around.
stoned at rooftop terrace.
waited for the maestro people to come back from tea which they never did for the whole hour.
seriously. im missing baybeats so much.
esplanade just feels empty without baybeats.
tho. theyre still the acts and all. but still...

tried the three cheers for five years piano.
other than the front and all, the center sounds weird. gotta figure it out.

and starting to get used to guitar. tho. still noob.
'least i can play love story and when i'm with you.
but my strumming and picking still sucks. bah.
managed to photocopy misery business and crushcrushcrush tabs. but omg. its hard.
and its electric guitar.

dad cooked. :D

met val, min, cel.
clubbed. at rebel.
didnt drink a lot. but felt weird.
elbowing.
and it seemed a lot of ppl puked that night.
reached home 5am.
super super tired. :(

2009-09-05T02:42:00.002+08:00

3.5 hours later

my fingers on my left hand are numb.
had guitar session with fahms and cel.
i still dont feel them.
have been lugging my guitar everywhere.

stoned at ck's place to wait for him to get changed.
went to cathay. a lot of movies were sold out.
saw vanisha and hana :D
catched G Force.
super cute. :D
had ben&jerry's. strawberry cheesecake.
sinful.

still havent tried playing the scores.

ive been watching movies a tad too much. ive been watching 7 movies in 8 days. omg.
and there's still a lot more to go.
time traveller's wife and i love you beth cooper.
the month of sept's gonna be nuts.

2009-09-04T07:45:00.002+08:00

hurtx-smilex.blogspot.com

is no more.
and ive been asked why.
i agree i kind of miss the old addy.
it was easier to rmb.
but childish lar. no meh?
haha.

ive been struggling with the guitar chords.
the super basic ones.
im totally noob i know.
thanks daryl.
thanks fahms.
:D
and yay im finally gonna get the piano scores for three cheers for five years acoustic!!
gonna start playing.
but oh wait. i have p&m test on wed.
bah.

who gives. LOL. :)

2009-09-03T18:56:00.002+08:00

fahms wants to tear my bf apart.

LOL.

guitar's done. :D
but needs to season the strings and all.
retail therapy was totally unexpected.
got my guitar bag, guitar pick, a newsboy cap, shorts, tank.

dad's cute.
he's constantly finding things to do.
haha.

and im getting a headache from the coffee.
i cant drink coffee for nuts.

got price and markets test next wed.
need to start mugging again.

gonna start playing with my guitar.
and brett manning's discs.

btw pics for baybeats are up.
thanks to pengli for his DSLR and some pics are by him. :D
and i think i totally lost my touch. the last time i actually took pictures were a long time ago.

BAYBEATS 290809-300809: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=147675&id=705767906&l=8fcb043f80

too many movies to catch yet too little time. :(

2009-09-02T10:44:00.003+08:00

my guitar.

is practically dying.
what makes things worse is the strings breaking and the cover coming apart.
i admit ive been leaving it lying at that corner of my room.
so its time i should do something about it.

fahms helped change the strings. (not done tho.)
cover. i reckon i should drop by some place to get it soon.
bah i miss maestro. haha.

Coco avant chanel was okay.
for a biography it wasnt totally sleep-inducing.
and her life isnt crazily eventful. other than the fact that the english guy died.
she never married.
and she was trying to fit into the parisan society, by standing out.
but she's just a woman with a lot of pride and ego. and character for that matter.
i am envious.

dad's hospital leave seems more like a holiday.
he's been cooking and doing whatnots.
and he even wants dimsum again!.
thats not how a man who has 2 wisdom teeth and one bad tooth removed and with all the stitches and all should act. haha.
but im glad he isnt hurting.
and its nice seeing him at home often. cos my parents are usually home late.

2009-09-01T10:02:00.004+08:00

dad: im getting lunch. whatd u want?
me: porridge.
dad: WHAT?!

LOL. he must be thinking ive gone nuts.
i just havent had it in a long time. forgotten how its like.

but after eating it. i know i should just keep away from it.

2009-09-01T09:04:00.011+08:00

280809-300809

im guessing it'll be a long list.
anyway, in short.

280809
i failed my tp. it was like a sign.
i handed in ER project.
i watched final destination 4 in 3d.
i met up with ed, chubby, yingjie, ck at blk85.
we wanted to catch a movie but showtimes were a tad too late.
home. 2300hrs.

290809
met zach, rak, zach's friend.
l4d-ed. i suck seriously.
watched bruno.
shisha-ed.
baybeats is LOVE.
http://www.baybeats.com.sg/2009/
caught taken by cars.
caught chris collingwood.
caught opposition party.
watched the proposal.
home. 0300hrs.

300809
met pengli.
watched year one.
finally got my phone from samsung center at ps after a week.
went to baybeats.
anberlin's acoustic set was madness crowded. could hear but not see them.
headed to nigel hogan's at chillout.
pengli saw his friend.
got asked to do long survey by esplanade people.
realised i missed a lot of acts this year as compared to the last.
been to 4 baybeats.
caught inch chua's. psp's the next instrument.
caught lunar node.
caught jon chan. he's uber good.
caught anberlin. started late. but freaking rocked big time, as always!! :D but was super crowded. got knocked on the head. and they encored! LOVE.
took pics with pengli's dslr.
pics will be up on fb soon.
home. 0030hrs.

310809
accompanied dad to ttsh dental clinic.
he didnt want me to wait for him.
so met fahms, val, zj, cel, shimin.
watched scandal makers. unexpectedly good.
walked ion. fahms got his dessert.
stoned at lido mac's.
home. 2355hrs.

2009-09-01T08:57:00.003+08:00

my wallowing just got to a new level.

i hope its not the wrong idea thing.
maybe it was just my wishful thinking.
it just sucks to see it all like this.
like how i realise things just arent the same as before.
like now im thinking how many blogposts have i posted because of you.

my vulnerability is killing me.

-
Just talk yourself up
And tear yourself down
You built your wooden wall
Now find a way around
Well what's the problem?
You've got a lot of nerve

So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
You wouldn't

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away

I'm not so naive
My sorry eyes can see
The way you fly shy
Of almost everything
Well, if you give up
You'll get what you deserve

So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
You wouldn't

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away

You were finished long before
We had even seen the start
Why don't you stand up, be a man about it?
Fight with your bare hands about it now

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay well did you
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away

for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic - paramore.

2009-08-30T03:48:00.001+08:00

ive come to realise.

i get tongue tied when it comes to talking to the people i ____.

sigh.

2009-08-29T10:35:00.001+08:00

im on tumblr, twitter, blogger and livejournal.

:X

2009-08-29T10:18:00.000+08:00

im convinced its over.

its the getting over part thats killing me.

it was this whole chunk of things that got me nuts. including the ER project. and that issue that i loathe so much. since i have to freaking face the same thing the 2nd time in 6months.

i know i have to get myself together. but it still feels like a part of me is gone. and im choosing negativity for a change. and with that, i realised i never opened myself up to people this much until this time.

so the past week, havent been eating much.
partly the tooth, partly the busi-ness, partly the issue.
and its tearing me apart. just like the song.

and my energy? i doubt its back. just yet.

so maybe i was hanging on to the busi-ness to make my thoughts not run wild.
which means im back to square one or even worse.
dont get me wrong tho. im not going to be the weichoo act.

watched final destination 4 with val and the rest.
was gross.
and was in 3d.
but it wasnt as good as the rest.
sigh.

and my phone isnt done repairing! samsung hasnt msged me. its been a week. and im getting skeptical about why my phone isnt done since its just system update. the girl told me that i could collect it the next day i sent for repair but its been a week!. :(

anyway, baybeats so long. tho i might be catching anberlin's. they are love.

2009-08-28T13:03:00.000+08:00

22 july - 22 august.
mom stared at me real hard. i chose to ignore. LOL.

anyway, it counted a total of 5 overseas and 1862 local.

:D

2009-08-25T21:27:00.001+08:00

i got my energy back. for now.

2009-08-25T17:31:00.002+08:00

half the night i waste in sighs.
in a wakeful daze i sorrow.

maybe its best u nvr know.
maybe its best i nvr tried to understand what is wrong.
maybe its best i left it uncertain.
maybe all of it is just hard for me to take.

and now, all i can do is go through the sadness.
leave everything behind me and walk the roads alone.
maybe its the best way to heal the wounds.
maybe its just how it was meant to be.
maybe its the best way out.
maybe u didnt care in the first place.
maybe i lost my strength when it came to this.
maybe i was stupid for not thinking it the way i should.

and maybe this is the end of things.

2009-08-25T08:27:00.002+08:00

finally got my lappy cover.

finally ate chilli cheese fries frm superdog. carl's jr's still rock tho.

finally started to type on er. please give me the adrenaline to last till thurs.
no. no. till after my TP i mean.

oh damn, im back to the old status on fb again. why oh why............

shall spin itunes again.