Cest moi.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

mentioning is pointless. i should keep some thoughts to myself.

besides, the way its acting now. is just plain weird.

Labels: rambles

♥ 10:18 AM

Thursday, March 11, 2010

in his book, your chapter's closed.

i know.

♥ 12:43 AM

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

~~The things that midterm stresses do to you. Wait, or er, i meant me, at least in this story.~~

~~Yeah okay, so i shall do this again.~~

The things that midterm stresses did to ME.

BUT Its not even the midterms!! Its just 7 freaking projects all cramped together in the span of a month (almost).

Anyways, as usual, I was writing the essay till the words started looking like binary codes. Then i figured i needed a time-out and so, we went for dinner. I dont know how, it just felt like the 'honey warm milk' was calling out to me, in the total haunting way, and that was what i got. I'm guessing the waiter must've thought I was nuts, especially since its 3.5 bucks for a concoction of milk added with honey and warmed. So yeah, I ate and drank. and gradually, I felt really sleepy.

Then it occurred to me that in dramas, the older people would always tell others in cantonese, 'get some warm milk, it'll help you sleep better'.

So as the older cantonese people predicted, I did feel really really sleepy but still sane. Just like how I always felt after 1am; stonish, but still barely sane. The next thing i knew was i got into body shop and got myself soap and perfume that amounted to 70 bucks. I then got on the train and got myself a seat and sat there looking at my itouch sliding off my lap and fall on the floor. I literally just sat there. The kind lady next to me helped me pick it up and i recall thanking her for the gesture. Everything else after that is fuzzy. I dont even remember how I took the bus back and walked home and bathed and continued the rest of the project.

So tell me now, is it the hypnotizing effects of the warm milk, or am I just some hybrid walking zombie?

I bet the latter sounds more convincing.

Wait, what did I write in this damned post?!!!!

Labels: rambles

♥ 12:19 AM

Monday, February 22, 2010

that way it wont hurt so much, when we say goodbye.

im torturing myself.
and i agree to what they say about, no matter how clear headed u are.
no matter how strong you are or think you are.
there is a soft spot. something'll pull u down eventually.
and that something, should actually have stopped doing what it was doing to me.
but yeah. its like a curse. anyway, im moving on i guess. life's just like that.
got the shittiest number of projects this semester. a whopping 7.
my timbre-pals are kind of gone.
the dears are going back to aussieland.
and i start to wonder and wallow again, what am i to do without all of them.
i guess i'm back to that. and somehow, i'll go through it all well, like i always do.
and yeah, maybe that's just how life is. or maybe, just, mine.

Labels: emotivities, rambles

♥ 12:40 AM

Saturday, February 20, 2010

and maybe that was yet another phase in my life.

it happens, no?
just that im positive this time it was different from the last.
the last felt super juvenile. i didnt know what i was thinking.
the deal is im not saying that i know what i am doing this time.
in fact, i dont.
im still clueless. and regret many parts of it. cos i seriously felt stupid and i cant totally blame it on alcohol.
but yeah.
at least i know i got ignored.
at least the signs were evident.
and now, damn i still cant believe i forwarded that.
anyway, long story short, i can now see it in a different light. and this came 1month late.
and it turns out that thing actually feels better now. for now.

Labels: emotivities, rambles

♥ 11:58 AM

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

tell me about the irony.

terrified - katharine mcphee

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You’re the thing that’s right
Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watchin’ the shadows burnin’ in the dark

And I-I-I’m in love (I’m in love)
And I-I-I’m terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

This could be good
It’s already better than that
And nothing’s worse than knowing you’re holding back

I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watchin’ the shadows burnin’ in the dark

And I-I-I’m in love (I’m in love)
And I-I-I’m terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

I only said it
‘Cause I mean it
I only mean it
‘Cause it’s true

So don’t you dare
What i’ve been dreaming
‘Cause it keeps me up
It holds me close
Whenever I’m without you

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watchin’ the shadows burnin’ in the dark

And I-I-I’m in love (I’m in love)
And I-I-I’m terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

Labels: lyrics

♥ 2:24 AM

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

i do know for a fact that im not the most inspiring/inspired person around. but the inadequacies its killing me.

vday and cny has its merry and unmerry times.
the problem is that, the emotions and all are a tad too drastic for me to take.
anyways, with all thats happened recently, i just cant help but fall into bolts of thought.
the good things and the bad just cluttered altogether.
it's just, many times and things for that matter, have been thought well and long. but its obvious that the ego in question, is thrown away.

and i just have the feeling im gonna die this semester.

maybe timbre's become the new solace.
maybe my insecurities are acting a tad too often that the guitar is no longer enough to fill up the gaps.
maybe my swings from positivity to negativity are too drastic it daunts me.
the issue here is, things are bad. its evident. but i dont feel as bad.
its not that i no longer care, or that it no longer bothers me.
i mean, come on man, who am i kidding?
maybe its just that long process that is slowly eating me away.
maybe ive matured and understood, but refuse to accept.
maybe. its just something id rather not forget. all of it. the happy times and the pain.
and maybe i am actually able to live with it. all of it.

but maybe. it only applies to me. and im the only one ranting abt all this.
that must mean im pathetic. but seriously, who gives.

time flies. and days are down 4.
if nothing's the way its gonna go, then seriously, fml.

and i learned one thing.
Fate doesnt decide all the time, we get to choose too.
and his choice was the dead end.

Labels: emotivities, rambles

♥ 12:18 PM